Thought on "A Fighting Spirit"

Last week I shared with you the commentary, A Fighting Spirit Won't Save Your Life, and asked if anyone would like to respond to the thoughts the author wrote. Several of you did and I gratefully share what I received in writing with you today. Thank you for these thoughtful responses, for the variations on what it means to have a positive attitude, a “fighting spirit.” Your experiences, what you have come to understand, are valuable insights from which all of us can learn, and consider our own beliefs and understandings about attitude’s impact on health and life. It is a well-lived life that all of us seek. And from one another’s stories we insights we can find answers that lead to our own well-being and growth.

"• I still believe that a positive attitude, optimism and “a fighting spirit” does change the course of my journey with cancer. It will not cure me, it might not extend my life, but it will make the time I have better for me and for my family. Isn’t that the most important aspect of living?"

"• When I was first confronted with the images of Lance Armstrong on his bike proclaiming the “Live Strong “message and the Fight metaphor for the battle with cancer I was distressed. Maybe this is not a problem we can relegate to the nature of competition. Cancer is not really the opposing team or a rival competitor. I resent the analogy. I think it far more valuable, even for men, to accept that we are vulnerable and can't always vanquish our opponent as we might in sports. Cancer is not a game that has winners and losers based on popular notions about what it means to be strong. Fight - sure. Do everything you can to understand what it will take to regain your health. Fight with your head and your heart but don't go about your business as though you will not be touched deeply by all that is happening to you and everyone around you. Look for stories of people not in the spotlight who also have important information to share. Expect things to change and adjust your expectations. It may not be realistic to believe that you can enter the race at the same place as before and that's ok. Honestly, I think the title, “A Fighting Spirit Won't Save Your Life”, Is fraught with problems at the start and speaks to that age old debate about The Mind Body Problem which is often a real sink hole."

"• "May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

"• While my heart is breaking. I know that (my husband) got all his wishes. Being with me at all times, NO hospital, and the last day he died he was in a lot of pain. (Which could have been VERY bad with is disease).. So I feel he was blessed with his wishes. .It is just very hard on the living. His surgeon who did his (surgery) called him "The warrior"... I believe his positive attitude (and mine) helped him to live longer than the doctors. thought. They gave him maybe six months and he lived 2 years to the day of his (surgery) ... I always said he was living on "Love" fumes...Did I want him to live longer.. OF COURSE.. But, NOT in pain.. So I will have to accept his going and be happy that we did cruises, vacations before he passed (even two weeks before) instead of more powerful Chemo which we did not know how long it would help him ..."He did it HIS way ... and I try to find peace with it."

"• … it brought to mind what I am always saying " It’s not about how you survive the storm it’s about how you dance in the rain." We are all going to die - some sooner than others. But I feel without cancer or any other life altering disease we do not focus on the quality of our lives. We just live. It’s not until disease hits us that we focus on Quality and Quantity and then survival mode kicks in and our own mortality hits us smack in the face. So you realize that every moment is special and that's when our dance of life truly begins, so we become more positive about life and everything it has to offer ... strong and positive people can walk outside their door and get struck by a vehicle and die a death without disease. But at least they chose to live positively before they died and that was their dance ... Just as if a Cancer patient chooses to be positive - it’s their dance … "

I will always welcome more responses if you have additional thoughts and more layers of discernment to share.